a WICKED Problem
Why We Struggle with Big Emotions & Platonic Love
There has been a lot of discourse around the Wicked movie, most specifically, the press tour and the relationship between Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. From the matching tattoos, crying, and almost constant touching in interviews, the dynamics of their relationship sometimes seemed to overshadow the actual movie. While I do admit that some of what they shared felt intense and possibly signaled bits of codependency, what interested me more was how the public reacted.
People seemed extremely uncomfortable and even disgusted by their behavior! I saw so much discourse about how annoying it was for them to cry in every interview and speculation that something “dark” must have happened on set. Some assumed it was all an act and that they actually hated each other. This even led to speculation that there was something sexual about their relationship, as if their affection had to be romantic. That was really disappointing to me. It seems like we’ve lost the plot when it comes to expressing emotions and platonic love.
I looooveee crying, and I’m very good at it. I can cry at the drop of a dime. I cry when I’m happy, sad, frustrated, stressed, grateful, no matter the occasion, I can make the tears flow. I’m not quite at Kris Jenner or Drew Barrymore’s level, but close. And just like those ladies, I’m a fellow water sign girlie. Ariana Grande is also a Cancer…it’s literally in our blood. It has taken years for me to stop suppressing this quality about myself.
I used to hate how emotional I was and would try to suppress my sensitivity, my tendency to feel deeply, and my affectionate nature. But at my core, I’m just a lover girl in both romantic and platonic relationships. I value physical touch deeply. I think it’s such a powerful way to express love and care.
Society teaches us not to be this way. We’re supposed to remain stoic at all times. It’s considered “cool” to act like we don’t care, to downplay how deeply we feel about someone or something. We’re expected to be strong all on our own and not ask for support.
It’s seen as inappropriate to cry in a group of people, in public, or over something that others might consider “not that serious.” But why? Why is it wrong to cry about the impact someone has had on us? Why is it wrong to cry about being part of a deeply personal project that we’re proud of?
We’re also taught that affectionate touch should be reserved for romantic relationships—that physical closeness must always be sexual in nature. But why? Why can’t I hug my best friend who knows everything about me? Why is that seen as “weird”?
I loved this clip from the Drew Barrymore show when she interviewed Cynthia and brought up their love of physical touch
I think this mindset has contributed to the loneliness pandemic we’re now in. People are more lonely and touch-deprived than ever. I wish we could normalize feeling deeply and prioritizing platonic love in all its forms. From the public’s reaction to Ariana and Cynthia, it seems we still have a long way to go.
The more we hide our authenticity, the more outcasted we feel. Don’t let societal norms keep you from your true essence. Once I embraced these qualities, I attracted the right people the ones who don’t mind my hugs or my tears. Seeing women embrace these qualities so unapologetically on such a public stage has healed a part of me and reminded me to continue owning this part of myself.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to love hard.
